In the swirling haze of a strange and surreal dream, the room’s walls seemed to pulse and dissolve at the edges as Eleanor leaned forward with insistent eyes fixed on the young woman who flickered in and out of focus like a half-remembered face. “Your connection feels so deep now,” she said, her voice echoing oddly as if from distant chambers. “When do you plan the wedding then?”
Emily answered with a smile that stretched thin and unreal, picking phrases carefully so they wouldn’t wound her possible future mother-in-law. “It probably isn’t the time yet,” she replied. “We’ve only shared a home for a month. Waiting a little could let us truly see each other through ordinary days… Who can tell if small arguments might start over nothing?”
Eleanor lifted one brow but held her ground, her form steady amid the dream’s shifting air. She actually preferred Emily to Nathan’s last girlfriend, who had been unbearable and sharp-tongued. It was fortunate Nathan had walked away from that.
Shifting the thread yet keeping her stare intent, “How are things with young Ethan?” she asked. “The boy is grown but still…”
A soft warmth bloomed in Emily’s chest at the mention of Nathan’s son, memories rising like mist from a hidden lake. She had fretted back then about how the teenager might greet a new woman in the house, whether he would see her as a threat trying to take his mother’s place.
“He’s truly wonderful,” Emily said with real feeling, her smile growing gentler and more solid. “At first I worried he might meet me with dislike or wariness. But it all turned out for the best! He showed himself as such an open and friendly lad!”
She paused briefly, recalling how Ethan once returned from school, tasted her pie with delight and declared that good food would now fill their home always.
“More than that,” Emily went on with a light curve of her lips, “he openly celebrated that meals would now come from someone far more skilled in cooking than his father. Sometimes he even asks me to show him certain recipes.”
Nathan, who had listened in silence until then, finally raised his gaze and gave a short nod that confirmed her words. A faint smile crossed his face like a fleeting shadow, as if he too felt glad the bond between his son and chosen partner had formed so well.
“Has he not asked for a little brother yet?” the older woman inquired with an open hint.
Nathan winced at his mother’s question and threw her a brief reproachful look, his eyes saying without words “why bring that up again?” He knew his parent’s ways wellshe never hesitated to touch the most delicate subjects, as if unaware such talks could unsettle those around her.
“What’s the harm?” Eleanor continued without a trace of embarrassment, her voice lively and almost playful as if discussing something everyday. “Ethan loves children and always plays with his cousins. And you’re only thirty-fiveyou’ll have time to raise a couple!”
Emily felt a wave of unease rise inside. It troubled her to discuss such personal and painful matters with a woman she barely knew. She tightened her fingers under the table, holding her outward calm.
“I’m afraid it’s impossible,” she said evenly, keeping her voice steady. “Doctors strongly advise against me having children.”
For a moment the space hung in silence. Eleanor’s brows rose slightly as she considered the words, her face changing at oncethe earlier friendly mask melted away, replaced by a cold and distant look.
“Some trouble with being a woman, is it?” she drew out with feigned sympathy, a faint note of superiority slipping into her tone. “But there’s no need to despairmedicine keeps moving forward. What once seemed impossible now gets handled without much trouble.”
Emily let out a faint sigh. She wanted to close the subject but knew simply staying quiet wouldn’t work. She looked toward Nathan hoping he would back her, yet he only shrugged lightly as if to say “you explain.”
“In my case that won’t help,” she said quietly, gazing straight ahead. Honestly she didn’t understand why she had to bare her soul to this woman who was mostly a stranger! Yet silence wasn’t an option eithershe might imagine something else. “I have serious problems with my sight. The diagnosis came at eighteenby now I’ve accepted the reality that I won’t have children.”
Eleanor froze for an instant, clearly trying to take in what she heard. Her brows lifted and her face showed genuine puzzlement, as if she faced something utterly baffling.
“What does sight have to do with it?” she asked, tilting her head slightly. She truly saw no connection and even wondered if this was just a weak excuse. “I don’t understand.”
Emily drew a deep breath, choosing her words. She didn’t want to dive into medical details but couldn’t avoid answering.
“There’s a ninety percent chance I’ll lose my sight,” she explained in a level, controlled voice. “Such a load on the body is strictly forbiddentoo high a risk! It’s simply not worth it, don’t you see! What’s the use of a child you might never even see?”
She fell quiet to let her listener absorb it. Emily nervously straightened her glasses. It mattered that Eleanor understoodthis wasn’t a whim or a wish to keep her figure. It was a very real danger!
Emily clearly sensed disappointment thickening in the air around her companion. Eleanor no longer tried to start talk, only now and then casting short glances at the young woman filled with open displeasure. It was plain that such a bride for her son didn’t match her picture of an ideal match. In the mother’s mind another image probably formeda healthy woman full of strength who would soon give her grandchildren.
But Emily felt no guilt and no wish to justify herself. She and Nathan had discussed the situation long ago, weighed all the pros and cons. Conversations with doctors, long evenings studying information, honest talks with each otherall of it had led them to one decision. The risk to her health was too great and neither wanted to put her in danger. If needed they could consider adoption or a surrogate mother. After all these days it isn’t so hard to arrange.
When the pair finally began to gather their things to leave, the atmosphere eased a little. Eleanor hugged her son in farewell and nodded to Emily, but the gesture held no warmthmore a matter of proper form. While they put on their shoes in the hallway Emily caught Nathan’s lookin his eyes showed a silent “sorry.”
Stepping outside both breathed out with relief. The evening air felt especially fresh after the tense talk. Emily took Nathan’s hand and he squeezed her fingers in reply at once. No words were spoken about what had happened yet both understood the meeting with the parents couldn’t be called successful. Still it changed nothing maintheir choice to stay together despite others’ expectations and prejudices…
Three months later, as the dream’s strange clock bent time oddly…
Emily noticed more and more that she felt unlike her usual self. At first she paid it little mindthought she had simply overdone it at work or caught a light bug. But when the unwell feeling lasted several days she started to worry.
She had a constant mild weakness, nausea kept rising in the mornings and familiar smells suddenly grated on her. Emily tried to manage on her ownbought antiviral remedies at the chemist, drank more water and aimed to go to bed earlier. But no improvement came. She caught herself growing distracted at work and by evening she collapsed from tiredness though she had done nothing especially heavy.
One evening while talking on the phone with her mother Emily shared her worries without meaning to. Her voice sounded a bit muffledshe still felt that odd sluggishness she couldn’t shake.
“Emily,” her mother asked after a short pause, “are you quite sure you’re not pregnant?”
Emily felt slightly surprised by the idea. She paused a second to think then answered confidently:
“Absolutely! I’ve never once missed taking the pills. The doctor prescribed them after a careful examination, all strictly according to the instructions.”
Her mother didn’t argue but her tone carried persistence:
“Still buy a testfor your own peace of mind. This is too serious a question to leave without attention.”
Emily had wanted to object that it definitely wasn’t pregnancy but something in her mother’s voice made her wonder. In the end a test was truly simple and quick and extra certainty never hurt.
“Alright Mum. I’ll go to the chemist right now. Nathan is at work so there’s time,” Emily said and hung up the receiver.
She quickly gathered her things slipped on a jacket and left the flat. The chemist in the neighboring building was just a short walkno more than five minutes on foot. Emily walked a little faster than usual as if trying to outpace her own thoughts. The same questions circled in her head: “What if Mum is right? But how could such a thing happen? Everything was under control…”
At the chemist she halted briefly before the display of testing kits. The choice turned out unexpectedly widedifferent brands different formats. Emily looked at the pharmacist in confusion then back at the shelves. Finally she took two tests from the middle price rangeshe decided there was no sense saving on such a matter. She paid tucked the purchases in her pocket and hurried home.
Back inside she stopped a minute in the hallway trying to calm a light unease. Her hands trembled a little as she took the tests from the packaging. She did everything following the instructions and began to wait.
The first minutes stretched unbearably long. Emily nervously glanced at the clock then at the tests again. And theretwo lines appeared clearly and brightly. She turned her gaze to the second testclear lines showed there too.
“How can this be possible?!” she exclaimed without meaning to feeling a wave of confusion rise inside. “It’s unthinkable! I prepared so carefully!”
At that moment the doorbell rang loudly. Emily started from the surprise. She looked at the clockthe time wasn’t right for anyone to come on business. Then it came to herthis was surely Ethan. The teenager often forgot his keys when hurrying home after school.
Emily quickly threw the tests into the waste bin straightened her hair and rushed to the door. Opening it she saw a slightly breathless Ethan with a backpack over his shoulders.
“Forgot your keys again?” she smiled letting him inside.
“Yeah,” Ethan nodded guiltily removing his trainers. “I rushed getting ready and then realized out on the street…”
The young woman hurried to the kitchen needing to feed the clearly hungry teenager. She didn’t yet know that one of the tests hadn’t reached the bin and lay traitorously on the floor…
In the dream’s continuing twist…
“Nathan I’m going to my mum’s for a weekshe’s not feeling well,” said Emily avoiding her fiancé’s eyes. It sickened her to deceive the man she truly loved but right then she simply couldn’t tell the full truth. And she couldn’t act any other way! Risking health wasn’t possible the decision already made…
Nathan immediately looked up from his laptop and regarded her attentively. His gaze held genuine care.
“Do you need help?” he responded at once. “Bring medicines? Or perhaps come with you? Mum is alone after all…”
Emily smiled without meaning towarmly and a bit guiltily. His readiness to rush to help touched her but now it only made things more complicated.
“Nothing is needed yet thanks for offering,” she answered as calmly as she could. “If anythingI’ll call.”
She turned away and quickly continued packing things into a small travel bag. Jumper a pair of jeans several t-shirts underwear toothbrush… Minutes counted in her headuntil the last bus to the nearby town less than an hour remained and she still needed to reach the station. Mum promised to meet her there and that soothed a little: someone who would understand and not ask extra questions would be nearby.
“Stay in touch alright? Call straight away if needed. I can come at any moment.”
“Of course,” Emily nodded pressing against him for a second. “I’ll be back soon. You won’t have time to miss me.”
The road to the station passed as if in fog. She checked her phone again and againhad Nathan written was mum calling back. Thoughts tangled but she held firmly to the plan: arrive handle the situation return. And only later when everything settled speak with Nathan. Honestly openly without half-truths.
The next day Emily went to a private clinic. She had booked ahead through the website chosen the doctor by reviews tried to arrange everything so no one would have extra questions. The appointment passed quickly and routinely: examination tests ultrasound. The doctor a middle-aged woman with a calm voice studied the results attentively cross-checked the dates reconfirmed the history once more.
“Yes you are pregnant,” she confirmed at last. “The term is small around five to six weeks.”
Emily nodded silently. Somewhere deep a hope still flickered that this was a mistake that the tests had lied the results mixed up. But now everything had become finally clear.
“But I was taking the pills! How could this happen?” her voice trembled carrying not only confusion but barely held agitation. How had it? She had done everything strictly by the instructions!
The doctor tilted her head slightly. She didn’t rush with an answerfirst she neatly stacked papers on the desk then raised her eyes to the patient.
“Perhaps the medicine was not of good quality,” she suggested in an even professional tone. “Or there were factors that reduced its effectiveness: for example taking antibiotics or other drugs at the same time lapses in the taking schedule digestive problems. Such things happen though rarely.”
She made a small pause watching Emily’s reaction then continued softly:
“As I understand you don’t plan to keep the pregnancy?”
Emily closed her eyes for a moment. This question too she had asked herself countless times in recent days. Memories of doctors’ words from years ago surfaced warnings of the risk that had never gone away. She sighed deeply and answered trying to make her voice firm:
“The risk of blindness is nine to one. What do you thinkcan I take such a step?”
The doctor nodded with understanding. She had already looked at the patient’s file and confirmed the risk truly existed. In such a situation the young woman’s choice was the best.
“I understand you,” she said softly. “This is a very serious decision and you have the right to make it based on your health state. Now I’ll write out referrals for tests. They will help assess the situation more accurately and choose the best plan of action.”
She turned to the computer quickly typed something into the electronic system then printed several forms. Folding them neatly she handed them to Emily.
“I expect you tomorrow for a follow-up. By then we will have the results and we can discuss the next steps. If questions appear or something worries youcall the clinic they will connect you to me.”
Emily took the papers mechanically smoothing them with her fingers. Thoughts still circled in her head but now they had become a little more ordered. She thanked the doctor with a short nod and slowly rose from the chair. In the corridor she stopped a second leaning against the wall breathed in and out deeply. Tomorrow would bring a new dayand a new stage in this difficult choice…
In the dream’s unfolding call…
“Emily!” Nathan exclaimed joyfully into the receiver his voice sounding so lively that the young woman tensed without meaning to. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Emily felt everything inside tighten. She gripped the phone mechanically trying to still a sudden shake.
“About what?” she asked warily aiming to keep her voice even. Thoughts raced: “Has he found out? But how?”
“That you’re pregnant!” Nathan said with genuine delight. Enthusiasm filled his voice as if he already pictured their future together.
Emily closed her eyes for a second trying to gather her thoughts.
“What makes you think that?” she responded trying to speak calmly though her heart beat wildly.
“I found a test with two lines on the floor,” Nathan explained and in his tone there was no shadow of doubt or worryonly pure delight. “I’ve already booked you with an excellent specialist. Shall we go to the appointment together? I want to be there support you.”
Emily sighed deeply choosing words. She needed to cool his eagerness without hurting his feelings.
“Don’t rush to celebrate,” she gently but firmly checked him. “Most likely it’s a mistake. You remember I’m taking the pills. Everything was according to instructions without misses. This simply can’t be true.”
For a moment a pause hung in the receiver. Emily almost physically felt Nathan trying to grasp her words.
“Well about that…” he finally hesitated and embarrassed notes entered his voice. “You see Mum visited recently. She saw your pills and began insisting that your diagnosis isn’t such a serious problem. She said many have children with far worse conditions and it all works out. Gave examples of acquaintances talked about modern ways of managing pregnancy… She urged so passionately that… well I gave in to her persuasion.”
Nathan fell silent as if waiting for a reaction. Emily listened quietly feeling a wave of conflicting emotions rise within. On one hand she understood he simply wanted to believe in the best. On the othershe was irritated that someone interfered in their personal life trying to decide for her.
“Are you saying she convinced you to mix something into my pills?” she clarified in an even voice though inside everything boiled.
“No of course not!” Nathan objected hastily. “Nothing like that. Just… she convinced me not to follow the prescriptions so strictly. That we could try taking the risk. I didn’t think it could lead to such consequences. Sorry.”
Emily felt a chill run down her spine. Words stuck in her throat and she forced out the question:
“What exactly did you do?”
Nathan lowered his eyes nervously gripping the table edge with his fingers. He clearly felt awkward but still gathered courage and spoke:
“I… accidentally dropped your bottle and the pills spilled. Then I thoughtmaybe it’s a sign? And replaced them with vitamins. Wanted us to have a child. Mum convinced me everything would be fine…”
Emily froze trying to take in what she heard. It didn’t fit in her head that the man she loved could act this way. She had explained so many times how important it was to take the medications daily what even one miss threatened what consequences could follow…
“You can’t be serious?!” her voice trembled. She clenched her fists without meaning to feeling indignation rise inside. “You consciously went ahead with this? Listened to your mother and swapped the medicines?”
Nathan shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot as if seeking a way to avoid answering.
“I thought it would be better for our family…” he answered quietly not raising his eyes.
“For the family?!” Emily could no longer hold back her emotions. Her voice shook with anger but she tried to speak clearly so he would understand the seriousness. “You didn’t even consult me! You knew about my diagnosis knew the risksand still did this behind my back!”
She paused trying to steady her trembling hands. Her temples throbbed thoughts tangled but one thing was clear: she couldn’t continue this conversation now.
“I just wanted children…” Nathan tried to justify his voice sounding almost plaintive. “Thought we could handle everything together.”
Emily sighed deeply striving to compose herself. She needed time to think everything through sort her thoughts.
“I don’t have time to talk right now,” she said more calmly though emotions still raged inside. “Can you come the day after tomorrow? Meet me at the park at midday?”
“Of course I’ll come!” Nathan responded immediately hope returning to his voice. “I’m sure everything will be fine!”
Emily didn’t argue or explain. She simply needed to end the call.
“See you then,” she said shortly and pressed the button to finish.
Emily seethed with rage! In her head the words of Nathan replayed again and again about how he “accidentally” dropped the bottle then deliberately replaced vital medications with vitamins. He knew all the risks the years of doctors’ warnings how critical daily medication was for her health. But he chose to believe his mother who lacking medical training confidently asserted that “everything would be fine.”
This thought burned within. How could he so casually disregard her health her life? Emily understood that with such an attitude toward the most basic thingstrust respect caretheir relationship couldn’t work. And the day after tomorrow she firmly intended to voice that.
On the appointed day Nathan arrived at the park half an hour early. He had bought a bouquet of white rosesher favoritesand now nervously shifted at the entrance glancing at his watch repeatedly. Hope flickered in his chest: perhaps Emily had simply been overwhelmed and now they would discuss everything and he could explain he meant well. He imagined her accepting the flowers her gaze softening them deciding together what to do next.
But when Emily appeared exactly at midday arm in arm with her brother her face was cold and impenetrable. She didn’t even look at the flowers Nathan hastily offered. Instead she silently took a sheet of paper from her bag and handed it to him.
“What is this? I don’t understand,” Nathan flustered stunned by her icy tone. He tried to catch her eye but Emily looked elsewhere.
“This means there will be no child,” the young woman stated coldly. “You knew about my diagnosis. Knew and consciously put my health at risk listening to your mother’s advice. I’ll never forgive this! Tomorrow I’ll come for my things. And I won’t be aloneI’ll bring my brother to prevent any misunderstandings.”
Without waiting for a reply she turned and walked away. Nathan instinctively stepped after her calling out:
“Emily wait! Let’s talk!”
She didn’t turn only quickened her pace. Then he rushed after her no longer restraining his agitation but his path was suddenly blocked by JamesEmily’s older brother. James stood straight feet planted firmly looking at Nathan without a trace of sympathy. His posture clearly said: “Don’t you dare follow her.”
Nathan attempted to go around him but James firmly kept him at a distance slightly extending his arm forward.
“You’re lying about everything!” Nathan shouted his voice trembling with fury and despair. He felt all hopes crumbling the future he envisioned slipping away. “I specifically consulted doctors! They said with modern medicine the risks are minimal! You just don’t want a childthat’s why you’re making up excuses!”
Emily turned slowly. Her face was pale but her expression remained calm almost detached. No tears in her eyesonly firm determination she had built over these days.
“You went to doctors without me? Discussed my health with strangers?” she spoke quietly but each word landed like a blow clear and heavy. “Do you even know my exact diagnosis? Or did you just go and say: so my fiancée mentions possible blindness?”
Nathan flinched. He hadn’t expected such a questionit seemed he was sure his action was explainable that Emily would understand his motives. Clenching his fists he tried to collect his thoughts.
“I was thinking of our future! Of family!” his voice sounded strained but sincere. “You yourself said you were ready to consider adoption or surrogacy. Why not give our own child a chance then?”
Emily sighed deeply. Pain flashed in her gazethe very pain she tried to hide behind cold resolve.
“Because this isn’t a game Nathan!” emotion broke through in her voice for the first time. “This is my life my body my vision. Do you even understand that I could go blind? That I’d be helpless unable to work care for myself? Did you think about what it’s like to live in constant darkness?”
She paused giving him time to absorb but he had already opened his mouth to object.
“But the doctors said…”
“What doctors?!” she interrupted sharply and bitterness sounded in her voice. “The ones you visited in secret? Did you even ask them about complication statistics? About real cases? Do you know how many women lose their sight during pregnancy with my diagnosis? No you just heard what you wanted to hear!”
Nathan fell silent. His eyes still burned with offense but something else appeared in thema vague realization that he might have made a serious mistake.
“You betrayed my trust,” Emily continued quieter but no less firmly. “You knew how important these pills were to me. Knew that for years I had learned to live with this diagnosis accept it… And you took and erased it all with one act.”
At that moment James stepped closer. The man’s hands itched to teach the would-be son-in-law a lesson! But he restrained himself solely at his sister’s request.
“I don’t want anything to do with you!” Emily straightened her voice cold and level again. “I don’t want to fear every day that you’ll pull another stunt!”
Nathan opened his mouth trying to say something but words lodged in his throat. He looked at her seeking even a drop of doubt a shadow of possibility to fix everything in her gaze! But there was only cold and contempt…
Emily turned and walked away. Nathan wanted to call out to her but couldn’t. He stood watching as her figure gradually dissolved into the evening twilight. Beside her walked Jamessilently confidently as if guarding her peace.
When they disappeared from view Nathan sank onto the nearest bench. In his hands he still clutched the bouquet of white rosesnever given never accepted…
He gazed at the delicate petals and for the first time realized that he had lost not only the child he so wanted. He had lost the woman he loved.
A single thought hammered in his head: “What if she was right?” But it was already too late.In the swirling haze of a strange and surreal dream, the room’s walls seemed to pulse and dissolve at the edges as Eleanor leaned forward with insistent eyes fixed on the young woman who flickered in and out of focus like a half-remembered face. “Your connection feels so deep now,” she said, her voice echoing oddly as if from distant chambers. “When do you plan the wedding then?”
Emily answered with a smile that stretched thin and unreal, picking phrases carefully so they wouldn’t wound her possible future mother-in-law. “It probably isn’t the time yet,” she replied. “We’ve only shared a home for a month. Waiting a little could let us truly see each other through ordinary days… Who can tell if small arguments might start over nothing?”
Eleanor lifted one brow but held her ground, her form steady amid the dream’s shifting air. She actually preferred Emily to Nathan’s last girlfriend, who had been unbearable and sharp-tongued. It was fortunate Nathan had walked away from that.
Shifting the thread yet keeping her stare intent, “How are things with young Ethan?” she asked. “The boy is grown but still…”
A soft warmth bloomed in Emily’s chest at the mention of Nathan’s son, memories rising like mist from a hidden lake. She had fretted back then about how the teenager might greet a new woman in the house, whether he would see her as a threat trying to take his mother’s place.
“He’s truly wonderful,” Emily said with real feeling, her smile growing gentler and more solid. “At first I worried he might meet me with dislike or wariness. But it all turned out for the best! He showed himself as such an open and friendly lad!”
She paused briefly, recalling how Ethan once returned from school, tasted her pie with delight and declared that good food would now fill their home always.
“More than that,” Emily went on with a light curve of her lips, “he openly celebrated that meals would now come from someone far more skilled in cooking than his father. Sometimes he even asks me to show him certain recipes.”
Nathan, who had listened in silence until then, finally raised his gaze and gave a short nod that confirmed her words. A faint smile crossed his face like a fleeting shadow, as if he too felt glad the bond between his son and chosen partner had formed so well.
“Has he not asked for a little brother yet?” the older woman inquired with an open hint.
Nathan winced at his mother’s question and threw her a brief reproachful look, his eyes saying without words “why bring that up again?” He knew his parent’s ways wellshe never hesitated to touch the most delicate subjects, as if unaware such talks could unsettle those around her.
“What’s the harm?” Eleanor continued without a trace of embarrassment, her voice lively and almost playful as if discussing something everyday. “Ethan loves children and always plays with his cousins. And you’re only thirty-fiveyou’ll have time to raise a couple!”
Emily felt a wave of unease rise inside. It troubled her to discuss such personal and painful matters with a woman she barely knew. She tightened her fingers under the table, holding her outward calm.
“I’m afraid it’s impossible,” she said evenly, keeping her voice steady. “Doctors strongly advise against me having children.”
For a moment the space hung in silence. Eleanor’s brows rose slightly as she considered the words, her face changing at oncethe earlier friendly mask melted away, replaced by a cold and distant look.
“Some trouble with being a woman, is it?” she drew out with feigned sympathy, a faint note of superiority slipping into her tone. “But there’s no need to despairmedicine keeps moving forward. What once seemed impossible now gets handled without much trouble.”
Emily let out a faint sigh. She wanted to close the subject but knew simply staying quiet wouldn’t work. She looked toward Nathan hoping he would back her, yet he only shrugged lightly as if to say “you explain.”
“In my case that won’t help,” she said quietly, gazing straight ahead. Honestly she didn’t understand why she had to bare her soul to this woman who was mostly a stranger! Yet silence wasn’t an option eithershe might imagine something else. “I have serious problems with my sight. The diagnosis came at eighteenby now I’ve accepted the reality that I won’t have children.”
Eleanor froze for an instant, clearly trying to take in what she heard. Her brows lifted and her face showed genuine puzzlement, as if she faced something utterly baffling.
“What does sight have to do with it?” she asked, tilting her head slightly. She truly saw no connection and even wondered if this was just a weak excuse. “I don’t understand.”
Emily drew a deep breath, choosing her words. She didn’t want to dive into medical details but couldn’t avoid answering.
“There’s a ninety percent chance I’ll lose my sight,” she explained in a level, controlled voice. “Such a load on the body is strictly forbiddentoo high a risk! It’s simply not worth it, don’t you see! What’s the use of a child you might never even see?”
She fell quiet to let her listener absorb it. Emily nervously straightened her glasses. It mattered that Eleanor understoodthis wasn’t a whim or a wish to keep her figure. It was a very real danger!
Emily clearly sensed disappointment thickening in the air around her companion. Eleanor no longer tried to start talk, only now and then casting short glances at the young woman filled with open displeasure. It was plain that such a bride for her son didn’t match her picture of an ideal match. In the mother’s mind another image probably formeda healthy woman full of strength who would soon give her grandchildren.
But Emily felt no guilt and no wish to justify herself. She and Nathan had discussed the situation long ago, weighed all the pros and cons. Conversations with doctors, long evenings studying information, honest talks with each otherall of it had led them to one decision. The risk to her health was too great and neither wanted to put her in danger. If needed they could consider adoption or a surrogate mother. After all these days it isn’t so hard to arrange.
When the pair finally began to gather their things to leave, the atmosphere eased a little. Eleanor hugged her son in farewell and nodded to Emily, but the gesture held no warmthmore a matter of proper form. While they put on their shoes in the hallway Emily caught Nathan’s lookin his eyes showed a silent “sorry.”
Stepping outside both breathed out with relief. The evening air felt especially fresh after the tense talk. Emily took Nathan’s hand and he squeezed her fingers in reply at once. No words were spoken about what had happened yet both understood the meeting with the parents couldn’t be called successful. Still it changed nothing maintheir choice to stay together despite others’ expectations and prejudices…
Three months later, as the dream’s strange clock bent time oddly…
Emily noticed more and more that she felt unlike her usual self. At first she paid it little mindthought she had simply overdone it at work or caught a light bug. But when the unwell feeling lasted several days she started to worry.
She had a constant mild weakness, nausea kept rising in the mornings and familiar smells suddenly grated on her. Emily tried to manage on her ownbought antiviral remedies at the chemist, drank more water and aimed to go to bed earlier. But no improvement came. She caught herself growing distracted at work and by evening she collapsed from tiredness though she had done nothing especially heavy.
One evening while talking on the phone with her mother Emily shared her worries without meaning to. Her voice sounded a bit muffledshe still felt that odd sluggishness she couldn’t shake.
“Emily,” her mother asked after a short pause, “are you quite sure you’re not pregnant?”
Emily felt slightly surprised by the idea. She paused a second to think then answered confidently:
“Absolutely! I’ve never once missed taking the pills. The doctor prescribed them after a careful examination, all strictly according to the instructions.”
Her mother didn’t argue but her tone carried persistence:
“Still buy a testfor your own peace of mind. This is too serious a question to leave without attention.”
Emily had wanted to object that it definitely wasn’t pregnancy but something in her mother’s voice made her wonder. In the end a test was truly simple and quick and extra certainty never hurt.
“Alright Mum. I’ll go to the chemist right now. Nathan is at work so there’s time,” Emily said and hung up the receiver.
She quickly gathered her things slipped on a jacket and left the flat. The chemist in the neighboring building was just a short walkno more than five minutes on foot. Emily walked a little faster than usual as if trying to outpace her own thoughts. The same questions circled in her head: “What if Mum is right? But how could such a thing happen? Everything was under control…”
At the chemist she halted briefly before the display of testing kits. The choice turned out unexpectedly widedifferent brands different formats. Emily looked at the pharmacist in confusion then back at the shelves. Finally she took two tests from the middle price rangeshe decided there was no sense saving on such a matter. She paid tucked the purchases in her pocket and hurried home.
Back inside she stopped a minute in the hallway trying to calm a light unease. Her hands trembled a little as she took the tests from the packaging. She did everything following the instructions and began to wait.
The first minutes stretched unbearably long. Emily nervously glanced at the clock then at the tests again. And theretwo lines appeared clearly and brightly. She turned her gaze to the second testclear lines showed there too.
“How can this be possible?!” she exclaimed without meaning to feeling a wave of confusion rise inside. “It’s unthinkable! I prepared so carefully!”
At that moment the doorbell rang loudly. Emily started from the surprise. She looked at the clockthe time wasn’t right for anyone to come on business. Then it came to herthis was surely Ethan. The teenager often forgot his keys when hurrying home after school.
Emily quickly threw the tests into the waste bin straightened her hair and rushed to the door. Opening it she saw a slightly breathless Ethan with a backpack over his shoulders.
“Forgot your keys again?” she smiled letting him inside.
“Yeah,” Ethan nodded guiltily removing his trainers. “I rushed getting ready and then realized out on the street…”
The young woman hurried to the kitchen needing to feed the clearly hungry teenager. She didn’t yet know that one of the tests hadn’t reached the bin and lay traitorously on the floor…
In the dream’s continuing twist…
“Nathan I’m going to my mum’s for a weekshe’s not feeling well,” said Emily avoiding her fiancé’s eyes. It sickened her to deceive the man she truly loved but right then she simply couldn’t tell the full truth. And she couldn’t act any other way! Risking health wasn’t possible the decision already made…
Nathan immediately looked up from his laptop and regarded her attentively. His gaze held genuine care.
“Do you need help?” he responded at once. “Bring medicines? Or perhaps come with you? Mum is alone after all…”
Emily smiled without meaning towarmly and a bit guiltily. His readiness to rush to help touched her but now it only made things more complicated.
“Nothing is needed yet thanks for offering,” she answered as calmly as she could. “If anythingI’ll call.”
She turned away and quickly continued packing things into a small travel bag. Jumper a pair of jeans several t-shirts underwear toothbrush… Minutes counted in her headuntil the last bus to the nearby town less than an hour remained and she still needed to reach the station. Mum promised to meet her there and that soothed a little: someone who would understand and not ask extra questions would be nearby.
“Stay in touch alright? Call straight away if needed. I can come at any moment.”
“Of course,” Emily nodded pressing against him for a second. “I’ll be back soon. You won’t have time to miss me.”
The road to the station passed as if in fog. She checked her phone again and againhad Nathan written was mum calling back. Thoughts tangled but she held firmly to the plan: arrive handle the situation return. And only later when everything settled speak with Nathan. Honestly openly without half-truths.
The next day Emily went to a private clinic. She had booked ahead through the website chosen the doctor by reviews tried to arrange everything so no one would have extra questions. The appointment passed quickly and routinely: examination tests ultrasound. The doctor a middle-aged woman with a calm voice studied the results attentively cross-checked the dates reconfirmed the history once more.
“Yes you are pregnant,” she confirmed at last. “The term is small around five to six weeks.”
Emily nodded silently. Somewhere deep a hope still flickered that this was a mistake that the tests had lied the results mixed up. But now everything had become finally clear.
“But I was taking the pills! How could this happen?” her voice trembled carrying not only confusion but barely held agitation. How had it? She had done everything strictly by the instructions!
The doctor tilted her head slightly. She didn’t rush with an answerfirst she neatly stacked papers on the desk then raised her eyes to the patient.
“Perhaps the medicine was not of good quality,” she suggested in an even professional tone. “Or there were factors that reduced its effectiveness: for example taking antibiotics or other drugs at the same time lapses in the taking schedule digestive problems. Such things happen though rarely.”
She made a small pause watching Emily’s reaction then continued softly:
“As I understand you don’t plan to keep the pregnancy?”
Emily closed her eyes for a moment. This question too she had asked herself countless times in recent days. Memories of doctors’ words from years ago surfaced warnings of the risk that had never gone away. She sighed deeply and answered trying to make her voice firm:
“The risk of blindness is nine to one. What do you thinkcan I take such a step?”
The doctor nodded with understanding. She had already looked at the patient’s file and confirmed the risk truly existed. In such a situation the young woman’s choice was the best.
“I understand you,” she said softly. “This is a very serious decision and you have the right to make it based on your health state. Now I’ll write out referrals for tests. They will help assess the situation more accurately and choose the best plan of action.”
She turned to the computer quickly typed something into the electronic system then printed several forms. Folding them neatly she handed them to Emily.
“I expect you tomorrow for a follow-up. By then we will have the results and we can discuss the next steps. If questions appear or something worries youcall the clinic they will connect you to me.”
Emily took the papers mechanically smoothing them with her fingers. Thoughts still circled in her head but now they had become a little more ordered. She thanked the doctor with a short nod and slowly rose from the chair. In the corridor she stopped a second leaning against the wall breathed in and out deeply. Tomorrow would bring a new dayand a new stage in this difficult choice…
In the dream’s unfolding call…
“Emily!” Nathan exclaimed joyfully into the receiver his voice sounding so lively that the young woman tensed without meaning to. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Emily felt everything inside tighten. She gripped the phone mechanically trying to still a sudden shake.
“About what?” she asked warily aiming to keep her voice even. Thoughts raced: “Has he found out? But how?”
“That you’re pregnant!” Nathan said with genuine delight. Enthusiasm filled his voice as if he already pictured their future together.
Emily closed her eyes for a second trying to gather her thoughts.
“What makes you think that?” she responded trying to speak calmly though her heart beat wildly.
“I found a test with two lines on the floor,” Nathan explained and in his tone there was no shadow of doubt or worryonly pure delight. “I’ve already booked you with an excellent specialist. Shall we go to the appointment together? I want to be there support you.”
Emily sighed deeply choosing words. She needed to cool his eagerness without hurting his feelings.
“Don’t rush to celebrate,” she gently but firmly checked him. “Most likely it’s a mistake. You remember I’m taking the pills. Everything was according to instructions without misses. This simply can’t be true.”
For a moment a pause hung in the receiver. Emily almost physically felt Nathan trying to grasp her words.
“Well about that…” he finally hesitated and embarrassed notes entered his voice. “You see Mum visited recently. She saw your pills and began insisting that your diagnosis isn’t such a serious problem. She said many have children with far worse conditions and it all works out. Gave examples of acquaintances talked about modern ways of managing pregnancy… She urged so passionately that… well I gave in to her persuasion.”
Nathan fell silent as if waiting for a reaction. Emily listened quietly feeling a wave of conflicting emotions rise within. On one hand she understood he simply wanted to believe in the best. On the othershe was irritated that someone interfered in their personal life trying to decide for her.
“Are you saying she convinced you to mix something into my pills?” she clarified in an even voice though inside everything boiled.
“No of course not!” Nathan objected hastily. “Nothing like that. Just… she convinced me not to follow the prescriptions so strictly. That we could try taking the risk. I didn’t think it could lead to such consequences. Sorry.”
Emily felt a chill run down her spine. Words stuck in her throat and she forced out the question:
“What exactly did you do?”
Nathan lowered his eyes nervously gripping the table edge with his fingers. He clearly felt awkward but still gathered courage and spoke:
“I… accidentally dropped your bottle and the pills spilled. Then I thoughtmaybe it’s a sign? And replaced them with vitamins. Wanted us to have a child. Mum convinced me everything would be fine…”
Emily froze trying to take in what she heard. It didn’t fit in her head that the man she loved could act this way. She had explained so many times how important it was to take the medications daily what even one miss threatened what consequences could follow…
“You can’t be serious?!” her voice trembled. She clenched her fists without meaning to feeling indignation rise inside. “You consciously went ahead with this? Listened to your mother and swapped the medicines?”
Nathan shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot as if seeking a way to avoid answering.
“I thought it would be better for our family…” he answered quietly not raising his eyes.
“For the family?!” Emily could no longer hold back her emotions. Her voice shook with anger but she tried to speak clearly so he would understand the seriousness. “You didn’t even consult me! You knew about my diagnosis knew the risksand still did this behind my back!”
She paused trying to steady her trembling hands. Her temples throbbed thoughts tangled but one thing was clear: she couldn’t continue this conversation now.
“I just wanted children…” Nathan tried to justify his voice sounding almost plaintive. “Thought we could handle everything together.”
Emily sighed deeply striving to compose herself. She needed time to think everything through sort her thoughts.
“I don’t have time to talk right now,” she said more calmly though emotions still raged inside. “Can you come the day after tomorrow? Meet me at the park at midday?”
“Of course I’ll come!” Nathan responded immediately hope returning to his voice. “I’m sure everything will be fine!”
Emily didn’t argue or explain. She simply needed to end the call.
“See you then,” she said shortly and pressed the button to finish.
Emily seethed with rage! In her head the words of Nathan replayed again and again about how he “accidentally” dropped the bottle then deliberately replaced vital medications with vitamins. He knew all the risks the years of doctors’ warnings how critical daily medication was for her health. But he chose to believe his mother who lacking medical training confidently asserted that “everything would be fine.”
This thought burned within. How could he so casually disregard her health her life? Emily understood that with such an attitude toward the most basic thingstrust respect caretheir relationship couldn’t work. And the day after tomorrow she firmly intended to voice that.
On the appointed day Nathan arrived at the park half an hour early. He had bought a bouquet of white rosesher favoritesand now nervously shifted at the entrance glancing at his watch repeatedly. Hope flickered in his chest: perhaps Emily had simply been overwhelmed and now they would discuss everything and he could explain he meant well. He imagined her accepting the flowers her gaze softening them deciding together what to do next.
But when Emily appeared exactly at midday arm in arm with her brother her face was cold and impenetrable. She didn’t even look at the flowers Nathan hastily offered. Instead she silently took a sheet of paper from her bag and handed it to him.
“What is this? I don’t understand,” Nathan flustered stunned by her icy tone. He tried to catch her eye but Emily looked elsewhere.
“This means there will be no child,” the young woman stated coldly. “You knew about my diagnosis. Knew and consciously put my health at risk listening to your mother’s advice. I’ll never forgive this! Tomorrow I’ll come for my things. And I won’t be aloneI’ll bring my brother to prevent any misunderstandings.”
Without waiting for a reply she turned and walked away. Nathan instinctively stepped after her calling out:
“Emily wait! Let’s talk!”
She didn’t turn only quickened her pace. Then he rushed after her no longer restraining his agitation but his path was suddenly blocked by JamesEmily’s older brother. James stood straight feet planted firmly looking at Nathan without a trace of sympathy. His posture clearly said: “Don’t you dare follow her.”
Nathan attempted to go around him but James firmly kept him at a distance slightly extending his arm forward.
“You’re lying about everything!” Nathan shouted his voice trembling with fury and despair. He felt all hopes crumbling the future he envisioned slipping away. “I specifically consulted doctors! They said with modern medicine the risks are minimal! You just don’t want a childthat’s why you’re making up excuses!”
Emily turned slowly. Her face was pale but her expression remained calm almost detached. No tears in her eyesonly firm determination she had built over these days.
“You went to doctors without me? Discussed my health with strangers?” she spoke quietly but each word landed like a blow clear and heavy. “Do you even know my exact diagnosis? Or did you just go and say: so my fiancée mentions possible blindness?”
Nathan flinched. He hadn’t expected such a questionit seemed he was sure his action was explainable that Emily would understand his motives. Clenching his fists he tried to collect his thoughts.
“I was thinking of our future! Of family!” his voice sounded strained but sincere. “You yourself said you were ready to consider adoption or surrogacy. Why not give our own child a chance then?”
Emily sighed deeply. Pain flashed in her gazethe very pain she tried to hide behind cold resolve.
“Because this isn’t a game Nathan!” emotion broke through in her voice for the first time. “This is my life my body my vision. Do you even understand that I could go blind? That I’d be helpless unable to work care for myself? Did you think about what it’s like to live in constant darkness?”
She paused giving him time to absorb but he had already opened his mouth to object.
“But the doctors said…”
“What doctors?!” she interrupted sharply and bitterness sounded in her voice. “The ones you visited in secret? Did you even ask them about complication statistics? About real cases? Do you know how many women lose their sight during pregnancy with my diagnosis? No you just heard what you wanted to hear!”
Nathan fell silent. His eyes still burned with offense but something else appeared in thema vague realization that he might have made a serious mistake.
“You betrayed my trust,” Emily continued quieter but no less firmly. “You knew how important these pills were to me. Knew that for years I had learned to live with this diagnosis accept it… And you took and erased it all with one act.”
At that moment James stepped closer. The man’s hands itched to teach the would-be son-in-law a lesson! But he restrained himself solely at his sister’s request.
“I don’t want anything to do with you!” Emily straightened her voice cold and level again. “I don’t want to fear every day that you’ll pull another stunt!”
Nathan opened his mouth trying to say something but words lodged in his throat. He looked at her seeking even a drop of doubt a shadow of possibility to fix everything in her gaze! But there was only cold and contempt…
Emily turned and walked away. Nathan wanted to call out to her but couldn’t. He stood watching as her figure gradually dissolved into the evening twilight. Beside her walked Jamessilently confidently as if guarding her peace.
When they disappeared from view Nathan sank onto the nearest bench. In his hands he still clutched the bouquet of white rosesnever given never accepted…
He gazed at the delicate petals and for the first time realized that he had lost not only the child he so wanted. He had lost the woman he loved.
A single thought hammered in his head: “What if she was right?” But it was already too late.
